even when things don't change, i'm amazed at how much my mind will. cause though the days have gotten a bit chiller, but still stressful shit can go down, sometimes my reactions to circumstances just vary... sometimes i take it in stride, other times i stumble. lately i've been stumbling less, at least since my "spill my bad vibes electronically" posts. and sometimes i feel like i have some control, but mostly i feel like i have the illusion of control. when bad shit happens, is it truly cause my mind was unprepared because i neglected exercise, meditation, etc.? when good shit happens, is it because i was focusing my spiritmind on the goodvibe? i guess it doesn't really matter, because the real point is it (my philosophy of karma) helps me connect my present condition (whether stumblin' or stridin') with my future self (how i can prevent/continue the present) and with my past self (what brought me to this present condition)... effectively learning from experience, but with jargon-strewn terminology (this makes me feel smart).

and all this shit, even the badbad times (but not the badbadbad times, which don't happen nowadays, that i'm such a law abiding citizen), even though i can't see it at the time... this shit is what i live for. this is what makes it worth it, makes it interesting.

by the way, season 4 of the wire: as awesome as i imagined!